Juicy_Tidbits- making-the-grade - Making The Grade

author:Justin "RFS" Bardin

 

         It's the day after test day. It's now or never to find out if you pass this grading period. Your friend gets his back, he made a 90. You get yours back. A 71. Upset, you compare answers with a friend, only to see you both have the same answer for a question, but he got it right, and you got it wrong. How does that happen? I'll tell you, it's the teacher and the way she grades.

         But how does this happen? Well, it's obvious. I've got some inside sources (a Game Boy Camera on Timer Mode and one of those Password Journals) and here's how it's done.

Method One - Grading Tests
         This involves the teacher putting your test up on a magnetic dart board and throwing the magnetic darts at the test. If it lands on a question, you got it wrong. Let's say it goes like this: Question 1, she throws it, it sticks on the Question 1 area. You get it wrong. She aims for Question 2 and misses. You get it right. Question 3 she hits, but then hits it again. You get it wrong two times.

         This is an effective way to grade, but is not time effective. This brings us to #2.

Method Two - Grading Papers
         This next form utilizes a Magic 8 Ball. She gets out the papers, checks Question 1 and asks the Ball if you get it right. Magic 8 Ball says Yes. Question 2, the Ball says Ask Again Later. She puts a "?" next to it. Goes to Question 3 and the ball says No. Then she goes back to Question 2, asks again, and the Ball says No. The 8 Ball fucking hates you today.

         An alternate form of the 8 Ball is wiping the whole paper in one question. 100 or 0? Ask the ball. Should I give him a 0? Yes. Infact, you can grade an entire class' papers in one sitting. Should I give them all 100's? No. Zeroes it is then.

         Now you know, if you get a problem wrong for a mysterious reason, look for the following tell tale signs on the teacher's desk:
- Magnets
- Magnetic Darts
- Magic 8 Ball (keyring size or regular)
- Magic Meatball (For the Rocko fans here)
- Copies Of Good Times on DVD

- Justin "RFS" Bardin