The_TXT_Dumpster- tube-part-3 - The Tube: Part 3

author:Justin "RFS" Bardin

 

         When we last left our two unusual heroes, they had gone half way around the world to China, where they were certain they'd be at Kodak. Instead they met up with the Great Wall of China.

         Adam was still pretty upset about the whole wall thing. He walked over the the billboard that said "Welcome to the Great Wall of China!" and used some spray paint to make the sign say "Welcome to the Great Wall of VAGina!" It was worthy of a few deep laughs, and then the two realized that they only had 5 days left until Terri Schiavo's dead ghost would hunt them down.

         They brainstormed on a bench when the light of God shined down on them. A bus passed them. It said Kodak Tours on the side. It was like Jesus got a Hot Wheels out of his collection and set it down in front of them. A tour bus. To 'Kodak'. They both knew what to do.

         Five minutes later...

         Adam and RFS were forcefully shoved out of the bus. "What the fuck. Tour passes? What kinda shit is that?!" Adam mumbled.

         RFS stopped him from walking as he had a great idea.

         The two of them sat on the back bumper of the bus unnoticed and took a free ride that lasted 4 days and 4 nights. On the 5th day, oh wait. Hold on. They rode the bus for a long time. Then when the bus stoped at a gas station to refuel, they saw it. The Kodak Tobacco Factory. It's not quite Kodak, but they knew it was the right place, and just in time.

         "Waaaaait." Adam said. "We need like, yo yos and shit. Remember the tape?"

         The two of them turned around and stared at the Chinese Circle K gas station. They would have what Adam and RFS needed to conquer Terri Schiavo. They walked in and got 2 yo yos each, and said the dude on the bus will pay for it when hes done with the gas. They also picked up some basketballs and jerseys, they were ready.

         5 minutes later they kicked open the doors to the tobacco factory. RFS had dual yo yos and was swinging those bitches around like no tomorrow. Adam had on the basketball jersey and was trying to do some mad basketball skillz. All of the minimum wage Chinese employees stared in confusion at the two Americans acting like total jackasses in their building.

         Adam ran towards the industrial paper shredder and did a slam dunk into it. THere was a loud bang as the basketball was totally destroyed and made into several little rubber rolling papers. The two of them kinda froze with that "oh shit" face. The yo yos RFS were swing swung around and smacked him in the face.

         There was a long silence as Adam looked into the paper shredder and RFS bled profusively from his nose. Then all of the Chinese employees started laughing and clapping.

         It was at that time that they realized, that their journey was not abnout Terri Savano or whatever her name was... it was about the poor Chinese employees. It was about the bus driver they ripped off. It was about the Great Wall of VAGinas. It was about Bill Cosby and pudding pops.

         That is what The Tube really is about. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of discounts at Wal-Mart.

The End

- Justin "RFS" Bardin